How did you know your baby had autism?

This is a copy of an answer I posted on Quora

I didn't know, but looking back there were clear symptoms from birth

1. Arching away from me when he cried
2. Crying to be put down
3. Wanting to be carried facing outwards.
4. Being stiff and not being able to mold to my body until age seven

Later

1. When learning to talk, making up his own words and demanding that we learn them. He did later learn English, but when he got into therapy, the therapist pointed out that he was only asking questions, never making declarative statements. If you asked him a question, he would screech.

2. Not being able to understand the word " No."

3. Extreme oppositionality

4. Believing he was responsible for disciplining parents be refusing to comply if we got angry, which he thought was inappropriate.

5. Extreme pickyness with respect to rituals, like which plate to use or how to stick the knife into the margarine

6. Melt downs if furniture was rearranged

7. The first words he learned, before he decided to make up his own language, were for geometrical shapes "baw" and "' bots." (Ball and box) rather than mommy or daddy

8. Extreme sensitivity to sensory input, e.g. Sound (had to wear hearing protectors from the hardware store to go to the circus or to sit in a church where they played the organ) or texture (throwing up at the sight of wet or slimy foods)

9. Extreme, hostile reactions to life: as a toddler asking me to kill people; trying to trip someone in a restaurant; total, rageful refusal to consider toilet training, until I finally had to hold him screaming and struggling on the little potty at age 3 three (though once he got over his initial resistance, he was very enthusiastic about remaining dry, quite quickly, unlike our other child who had bed wetting); later violent threats in school about wanting to electrocute people, put them through a meat grinder, or blow them up. When he learned to crawl, I could no longer allow him in my bed, because he would try to wake me up, by crawling up to my head and bashing my teeth with his skull, which was painful.

10. starting before age two: obsessive interests. He could stand for hours staring at a construction site, because he loved earth moving equipment.

11. The thing that finally got us to a child psychiatrist was his being the only child to refuse to comply with the nursery school concert at age 4. He wasn't even looking at the teacher and he just seemed so miserable. After extensive therapy, at age 7, he could be in a concert, but couldn't sway back and forth with the other students

12 . What got him into special ed was physically attacking teachers. I personally was not in favor of inclusion. He was being bullied in regular school, and was *much* happier in a 12–1–1 program. Fortunately, our county had gifted special ed. It was the first time he actually enjoyed school.

I'm very happy to report that through extensive intervention, the threats of violence disappeared. He is now (at 28) a very moral person.

He's still paralyzed with anxiety and agoraphobia, tho. He can't drive, because of anxiety.

His extreme pickyness with respect to food is vanishing, though he still throws up easily from some foods.

He still has problems cuddling and prefers light hugs to bear hugs.

Some of his bizarre preferences with respect to clothing, especially preferring female colors and clothing, turned out to mean that he/she is trans.

He does have a genius level IQ and got a bachelors in engineering from a prominent engineering school. Getting a job has been much harder, because of his extreme anxiety and pickyness about job requirements.

 #autism #autistic #baby #babycare #symptoms #psychiatry #infant #infantcare #childdevelopment