Monday, October 29, 2018

Advice to young female college student


  1. Never be alone in a dorm room or other bedroom with a man unless you're planning you have sex with him
  2. Go to your professor or teaching assistant if you don't understand the class material. Don't be embarrassed. It's better to ask a stupid question than to do a stupid thing. It's a lot easier to understand topics explained one on one, than in a classroom or textbook. Don't be afraid to come in frequently. Demand to understand.
  3. If you find yourself falling asleep in class, demand that the carbon dioxide levels in the classroom be checked.
  4. You are no better and no worse than anyone else. You are not terminally unique. Just because a topic scared you in k-12 doesn't mean you won't be able to do it now.
  5. People who pressure you to: drink, use drugs, have sex, drive dangerously, or do any other risky behaviour are not your friends. Find other friends.
  6. It's usually better to get assignments in on time, even if they're not perfect, rather than turn them in late. It's certainly better to turn in an imperfect assignment than none at all. If you need an extension communicate with your professor promptly. Get help early. Don't wait until the last minute.
  7. If you have writer's block, try speaking your essay into your computer or phone and then type or use voice recognition to convert to text.
  8. If you feel very unhappy, look for the counseling services in your college. If you get a counselor, as I did, who seems really off base and not addressing your issues. Tell them they're off base. Request another counselor.
  9. Learn about oxytocin and its effect on the body. Try not to get biochemically bonded to a man who doesn't love you. You won't get over it. It's permanent.
  10. Learn about contraception.
  11. If your roommate is really making you insane, they can usually find someplace else for you.
  12. If you have a lot of AP credits, as I did, make sure you understand master's degree options at your college. You may be able to get both a bachelor's and a master's for the price of a bachelor's.
  13. Think about the secret thing or things that you most like to do that you haven't ever told anyone about. Think about whether those could be related to a career. Ask a career counselor. It's better to be in something you love, even if it pays less
  14. Get enough sleep, even if it means taking naps.
  15. Eat three square meals a day.
  16. Sugar is an addictive drug. It's not your friend.
  17. Sororities can be a great source of lifelong friendships, but be sure to choose one that builds your moral character.
  18. Look for the eyes that love you. Spending too much time listening to your critics will get you down. If someone criticizes you, say "Thank you. I'll think about what you said." You can be polite. You don't have to do what they want. You don't have to allow their criticism to affect your self esteem.
  19. Authority figures are not your parents. They're fellow adults. Try not to project issues from your family of origin onto strangers.
  20. I found that the lies I told myself were the worst ones, especially unrealistic expectations of myself.
  21. Get enough exercise. That's usually not a problem, but if there's a shuttle on campus, you might consider walking instead if you have time.
  22. Fasten your seat belt
  23. Don't get into a car with a young, inexperienced driver and other young people. Inexperienced drivers cannot deal with the distraction of unrelated passengers. An accident is almost guaranteed if there's more than one.

    Originally written in answer to a question on Quora