On letting kids be kids

This is a response that I wrote on quora, but I wanted to reproduce it here, because I think it is very important

I personally attribute my work ethic to having started working at a very young age. Is it unethical to have your children begin working lightly such as mowing lawns, painting fences, etc. before they are legally allowed to (i.e. under 14)?

Annalisse Mayer, Author Specializing in Autism Themed Novels at Novels (2001-present)

Answered just now

It is hard to answer as to what is legal without knowing where you are. This is going to vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction.

In the USA, the rule of thumb is that kids can be made to do chores at home and can work in family run businesses.

As to what they can do beyond that, it can get complex. Please be sure that — if your kid is working for money outside the home — you are not taking the money. That is a crime.

I think I have pretty good work ethic. My parents felt that — before I graduated from high school — my job was school. They wanted me to focus on that. They didn’t want me distracted with other jobs. I ended up with excellent grades and getting into a top college.

I think this actually is very good work ethic: to try to focus on quality in your primary job and not over-extend yourself. Multi-tasking makes you mediocre at everything.

There is a lot of ongoing research into what helps kids develop into highly functioning adults — and on what activities improve brain health. Here is a hint of what is going on:

• Kids do need to play and socialize more than adults, in order to develop neurologically and intellectually. Scientists Say Child's Play Helps Build A Better Brain
• Study of the arts is actually critical to development of intelligence and creativity for instance Creativity in Early Brain Development
• Exercise is important at all ages for healthy brain Regular exercise changes the brain to improve memory, thinking skills - Harvard Health Blog
• Silence is important to brain health as well Why Silence Is So Good For Your Brain

If you focus a child on adult-like tasks too early, you will stunt their development and reduce their long term potential. You may feel that this was good for you as a child, but was it really? Might you have been smarter, gotten into better schools, and achieved more as an adult, if you had been allowed to focus more of your energy on developmentally appropriate tasks, i.e. on being a kid?

This being said, my dad was on the graduate admissions committee for the physics department of our local state university. He found that kids who grew up on family farms were the best experimental physicists, because they knew how to do things. At home, they were expected to know how to build and repair equipment, for instance. But kids who grow up on farms, also get lots of aerobic exercise and play outdoors.