Sol 24 (a poem)

I'm a lazy poet.  I just sort of journal short lines as an emotional release.  I don't put the kind of effort into it that I put into my novels.  So here's one about the photo that NASA just released of the rover tracks in the crater up there on Mars:



Tracks in the sand

Across a trackless waste

Gravel and rock

Drier than the driest desert

Colder than the coldest winter

A busy robot

Preoccupied with tasks

Programmed by busy people

Unaware of the silence

Unaware of the quintessential emptiness

Driving from nowhere to nowhere

In a crater

Surrounded by mountains

Looking for?

Life? Can you really think it's there?

Water? As if any water

Could mitigate that emptiness

That silence, that lack

Of what makes a planet

Into a home

Do we really think

There can be any other home?

Do we really think

There can be another terra?

Do we really think

That is a picture

Of anything other than

Loneliness?

Driving from nowhere

To nowhere

Busy with tasks

That seem so futile

A robotic vehicle

Alone.

How Asperger's Sydrome was explained to me

My son was one of the first people diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome when it was first added to DSM IV in 1995.  At the time, this is how the psychiatrist, who was affiliated with a teaching hospital, explained it to me.

We are supposed to be born with an invisible antenna should allow us to interpret facial expressions, gestures and tones of voice instinctively and give them meaning.  The person with Aspeger's Syndrome is missing this antenna or it is damaged.

90% of communication between people is nonverbal.  People with Asperger's Syndrome miss most of that 90%.

Infants, before they are speaking verbally, are learning this non-verbal communication.  They learn, for instance, that, if they smile, mom smiles back.  If they cry, mom looks concerned.  If they poop, maybe mom looks disgusted. 

As a result of theses observations, infants begin to shape a mental model of what other people are like.  They come to understand that other people have an internal process that is responsive to the infant.

The child with Asperger's Syndrome never gets this early development. 

By that time, my son was 5.  The psychiatrist told us that his understanding of other people was still that of an infant, i.e. other people are here to serve me, e.g. Mom brings me food.  I certainly noticed that even a few years later that my son said that he felt that people were nice or were his friend if they did what he told them to do.

He could not notice the little signals that would lead up to someone getting very angry.  He would notice if someone was mad enough to turn red and scream, but not the subtleties leading up to that.  He still, at age 21, has a hard time visualizing how he contributes to someone else becoming furious at him; and especially has a hard time conforming his behavior to someone else's desires.

One of my greatest fears is that he might end up in a conversation with a police officer where he might be told, for instance, to put his hands up -- and he would refuse or delay -- resulting in getting shot.  He just is not able to conform his behavior to the desires of others, or understand when conforming might be important or urgent.

He did have a very good therapist as a child who did mitigate this somewhat.  She played role playing games with him where his little doll would do something nasty to her little doll and her little doll would say "I don't like this.  This makes me feel bad."  She would do that over and over, ad nauseum.  I'm not sure how much sank in.

What seemed to help him more was when he got into special ed and a wonderful school psychologist taught him interpersonal relationships as a course with a curriculum of points he could learn intellectually. 

Another thing that comes from not being able to engage in the constant, instinctive, nonverbal banter that links neurotypical people is an extreme attachment to objects and routines.  For instance, when we rearranged furniture in the dining room when my son was 3 because we were having guests, he became hysterical and had to be shut in his room for most of the evening, screaming.  Even now, when he travels, he has to have 5 suitcases with him, even for a 5 day trip -- and he dislikes travel a great deal, because of the disruption to his routine  Fortunately, he is a strong young man who can carry a lot

He does have sensory integration issues, for instance extreme sensitivities to tastes and textures, which give him problems in the presence of various foods.  Fortunately some of that seems to be fading now that he is 21.  My understanding, though, is that these sensory integration issues are not considered central to Asperger's, but are in fact a comorbid disorder.

Ban 1200 calorie diets

This article really makes me mad:

http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/does-1-200-calorie-day-look-173600166.html

No one should ever be put on a 1200 calorie diet. Low calorie diets are extremely dangerous.

People are overweight, because they overeat. Putting them on a restrictive food plan is stupid. The remedy for overeating is eating normally, not going anorexic.

People lose weight better on a maintenance level food plan, because the metabolism keeps working. A 1200 calorie diet, particularly if done repeatedly, will shut down the metabolistm and make it virtually impossible to lose weight.

Medical professionals who recommend 1200 calorie diets should lose their licenses to practice. This type of diet is one cause of the obesity epidemic.

Restricting also leads to starve/binge eating patterns. After a period of feeling deprived, people will almost inevitably binge. If you binge with your body in a low metabolism, storage mode induced by a 1200 calorie diet, the result of the binge will be converted to fat much more readily.  This leads to the well-known effect of yo-yo dieting, which is weight gain.

Moreover, for super morbidly obese people, it takes a long time for the body to burn off the fat. If they are on a 1200 calorie diet for an extended period of time, they can die of an anorexia induced heart attack long before they get to normal weight.

It is time for all right thinking people to roundly denounce the 1200 calorie diet.

Michelle Obama promulgates myths about weight loss

Say the serenity prayer, Annalisse!  There it is again: a public figure giving out dangerous misinformation about weight loss.

It is a myth that a high protein, high fat breakfast is unhealthy, just a myth. 

Fat is a necessary nutrient.  Fat is critical in the digestion of other foods.  Fat is critical to the myelin sheaths around your nerves.  30% of your calories should be fat -- at least. 

Low fat diets were never supported by any scientific research at all.  Whenever you skimp on a necessary nutrient, you are going to end up overeating other foods to make up for it.  Low fat diets lead to obesity.

Same is true for low sodium diets.

So here is Michelle Obama, a prominent figure associated with reducing obesity, promulgating this myth by telling teen, Gabby Douglas, not to eat a McDonald's breakfast. 

Gabby is an athlete.  There is not a bit of fat on her toned body.  As an attractive public figure, she is at risk of anorexia.  She is the last person in the world who should be told not to eat a hearty breakfast -- even in jest.  Even jokes can lead to dysfunctional eating patterns.

What causes obesity?  Bingeing on junk food.  What causes bingeing?  Some of it is emotional; however, starve/binge eating behaviors also cause it. 

Many young people have been left with the impression that they should only eat whole grains and vegetables, no fat or protein, insufficient calories.  This is a very unhealthy idea.  Eventually, when this unhealthy idea leads them to malnutrition, they will binge on junk and get fat.

Eat your McDonald's breakfast, Gabby.  It IS healthy.  Really.

Musings on the neurology of 12 step programs, addiction, autism, and mysticism

The point with the Higher Power (HP) thing for me, for the scientist part of my mind, is the neurology of the thing. 

My first experience of this was when I did natural childbirth. At that time I was in very good spiritual condition from doing a lot of yoga & meditation. I felt I had some ability to control what is supposed to be an involuntary process, but it felt sort of magical, like ESP.

I have also read that, when schizophrenics hallucinate, it has to do with coming in contact with parts of their brains that are normally inactive. The schizophrenic brain has large regions shut down. When parts come active, it can feel like something exterior. Schizophrenics often believe their hallucinations come from God or the devil, but really it's their own brains lighting up.

Similarly, with autistic people who are also aphasic, the brain scans show a connection not happening in the brain that does in normal people. Autistic brains also scan with more and smaller cells than normal brains, which may help explain why it is difficult to make connections.

Similarly, again, with the addict, there are connections that are not being made to inhibit behavior -- a sense of observing oneself doing something that is against one's better judgment and not being able to stop it.

Brain scans also show that experienced meditators having something called synchronized gamma activity spreading over very large regions of the brain, while normal people, when they meditation have smaller regions implicated. Schizophrenics have still smaller regions.

Some studies of aphasic autistics show that low level electrical current can stimulate the brain to speak -- by forcing the connection between regions.

When I started Overeaters Anonymous, I found that I had a sensation like fluid flowing in my brain -- something that has been reported by other mystics. I have also had an experience like that when my foot falls asleep, that when circulation returns there is a sensation like fluid flowing into the foot. 

The one woman I know who emerged from profound aphasia at age 11 was also a mystic who prayed and meditated frequently.

I conclude that the mystical experience has a neurological effect that integrates brain functioning. This is useful for the addict in overcoming involuntary behavior. It could also be useful to a person with an autistic spectrum disorder who is experiencing reduced function due to excessive cells in the brain I would suspect.

On accepting people with mental health "disorders"

Sometimes I meet someone who I suspect of being an Aspie.  Sometimes I tell them about my suspicions.  Some people are profoundly grateful to learn of this disorder, as it explains events in their lives.  Others are insulted at the suggestion that they might have a "disorder."

I believe that the only person who lacks a mental health diagnosis is someone who has failed to consult with a mental health professional.

Supposedly the army once screened 175,000 soldiers for mental health disorders and only found 12 that were "normal."  The problem with those 12 people was that it was impossible to get them to do anything.  They were too well-adjusted to feel like they needed to please anyone or have any external accomplishments.

I do not believe that people with mental "disorders" should necessarily be medicated or fixed.  Most psychiatric medications or interventions are more for the benefit of the people around the victim than for the victim him or herself.

I would prefer that we use mental health diagnoses to understand each other better -- rather than as an excuse to try to change others.  Assuming that those who bother us require our intervention to change is self-centered.  We should try to change so we can adjust to those around us and accept them as God created them.

Melatonin dosages

Studies have shown that the average 20 year old, who sleeps well, produces 75 micrograms of melatonin a day.  Accordingly, we must conclude that this amount, though tiny, is all the body needs.

By contrast, the lowest quantity available for sale in pill form is 1 milligram.  In order to get the correct amount of melatonin from such a pill, one would have to cut it into thirteenths.   For those who don't know, there are one thousand micrograms in a milligram.  A microgram is almost unimaginably tiny.

People think that more melatonin is better.  This is not so.  When I take more than the required amount of melatonin, I get nightmares, which does not help my sleep. 

People find that larger quantities don't work, so they ask for even larger quantities.  I just saw some 10 milligram melatonin pills.  The more melatonin people take, the less well that melatonin going to work for the purpose of sleep.  The larger the doses sold, the more likely there will turn out to be side effects.  The more side effects there are, the more likely it is that this important supplement will be taken off the market entirely.

This is a vicious cycle.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.  Increasing the dosage does not work.  Dosage needs to be *decreased*.

There used to be 200 microgram tablets, which one could cut in half to get approximately the right dose, but those have been taken off the market.  

I don't get the feeling that anyone actually reads this blog.  I wish I could get someone's attention.  I want my 200 microgram tablets back.  If everyone got those and cut them in half, as I used to, then they would sleep better.

What bothers me particularly about this is that I really *need* melatonin to sleep, but only small quantities.  As the pills get larger and larger, it's hard for me to get what I need.  Plus the side effects of larger doses are making it more likely that the substance will be banned as a nutritional supplement and not be available to me.