Saturday, February 20, 2016

Program maxims

I've been involved with the 12 step world for 11 years now.  There are some maxims that I've learned, particularly with respect to dealing with overwhelmingly stressful situations.  Here is some of that

  • Keep saying the serenity prayer, like a mantra.
  • Write down everything that is on your plate on a piece of paper and put the piece of paper in your God box (do you have a god box?) to symbolize giving this over to God
  • Resign from being God. You cannot solve all these problems.  It's just too much.  As much as you want to solve every problem, you cannot.  You are a mortal, human woman.  There are only 24 hours in a day.
  • Make self-care a priority.  If you do not take care of your body and your soul, you will become increasingly useless -- major health crises are probably coming much sooner than you realize.  Your mind and body are going to give out on you.  Self-care includes program, yes.
  • Focus always on the next right thing rather than the many, many things that need doing.  Focusing on everything at once is overwhelming.
  • Pray for creative solutions.  Pray for less ambitious, realistic goals. Pray for proper prioritization.  Avoid saying "I am trying to..." Instead, say "I'm praying for guidance on how to proceed." After praying or putting something in your God box, wait for an intuition/a solution/a vision of your next step.
  • Write gratitude lists.
  • Set boundaries. Your children, inter alia, have to realize that you are overloaded and need help, not more burdens.
  • Make time to play

Friday, February 12, 2016

Bedwetting -- happy ending? No.

I got this casting notice


One of my sons did have a bed wetting issue up to age five or six.  He was a very sound sleeper.  He was also having sleep apnea due to enlarged tonsils and adenoids and his soft palate intersecting his pharynx.  He had the tonsils removed.  He had the adenoids removed twice. He outgrew the structural issues with his soft palate after high school, but continued to have some apnea even when 17.

When he was five or six we got one of those alarms that you put in the diaper or pull up.  He slept through it, but it woke my husband (now ex) and me up.  So we would rush in and carry him to the toilet and make him sit on it.  Eventually, after much lost sleep on our part, he did learn to get up on his own.

When this bed wetting issue arose, we read articles stating that bed wetters tend to have serious depression later in life.

Well, guess what. He has serious depression later in life.  No he isn't just fine.  He doesn't have an exciting story about his occupation, hobby, or skill.  He has a depressing story of mental illness.  Even though we worked so hard to get him to use the toilet, it didn't resolve the underlying problem, whatever that is.