Thursday, June 5, 2014
On buying sunglasses with my aspie son
So my Aspie son broke the last two pair of sunglasses by stuffing them in his pocket rather than keeping them in the nice case i bought him. We go to REI and find some sunglasses with super sturdy frames that are going to be $50 with the tax.
I tell him that i'm not going to buy him a $50 pair of sunglasses unless he keeps them in a case. He says the whole point of getting sturdier sunglasses is so he can stuff them in his pocket. I say sunglasses are not designed to be stuck in pockets. He complains that the case would take up too much space in his pocket. I point out that they have a case that has a clip on it so he could clip it to his bag or his belt loop and not have to waste space in his pocket. He says that the multitasking involved in keeping track of the case wouldn't be worth the effort. He pulls out an internet article about managing programers that advises against making them multitask, as ultimately that would make them less efficient
I point out that I am not a manager in an office and he is not functioning as a programmer here. I tell him that I understand that aspies don't empathize well, but I ask him to try to imagine what I feel like when I am considering buying him a nice gift and he tells me he is going to willfully destroy it just as he has destroyed past such gifts. I also point out that if he ever becomes a responsible adult and gets a job like he's supposed to (now 23) and has to buy his own sunglasses, he will never stuff them in his pocket, because he wouldn't want to throw away his own hard earned money the way he proposes to throw away mine.
He says that if he can't keep them in his pocket he doesn't want them.
We end up not getting the sunglasses.