Afterthoughts about Gemini Travesía

 

I'm trying to cut & paste from Word and I'm getting an image.  That's weird.

Here's the first tweet in a thread about Gemini Travesía

I still fantasize a lot about the real actor who inspired the "Gemini Travesía" character in my second novel.

I know that the real man is likely in compatible. He prefers much younger women. He belongs to weird cult that I don't want to join. He loves high speed &

— Annalisse Mayer (@AnnalisseMayer) August 5, 2024

Transcription of this thread 

 I still fantasize a lot about the real actor who inspired the "Gemini Travesía" character in my second novel.  

I know that the real man is likely in compatible.  He prefers much younger women.  He belongs to weird cult that I don't want to join.  He loves high speed & aerial activities that horrify me.  He has a reputation of being controlling, even a bully, in person.  He's been divorced repeatedly.  

Yet, still, I fantasize.  I think what I really want is someone who is that exciting, without the various issues that would make us incompatible.  

Probably I resort to fantasy, because I don't think that I could possibly attract someone that exciting.  

And what makes him exciting?  In part it's his personal charisma and good looks -- but, in part, it's that so many other people find him exciting.  Talk show hosts find him exciting enough to have him on their shows repeatedly.  

That's really a measure of being exciting.  So far I have never done anything that would put me in that category.

From a  12 step perspective, I shouldn't want this.

I should be surrendered to my own comfortable, middle class life, my own perfectly fine friends, my own children (who happen to be homebound with mental illness), etc.

In all likelihood, my life is better than his in many respects.  I've only been divorced once, for instance.

Yet, still, the fantasy is there.

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Another tweet thread on this topic

I'm still thinking of this puppet in my head -- the one that I clothe with the identity of my favorite movie star, the one I call "Gemini Travesía" in my second book. In some sense, I feel that my constantly manipulating this puppet is an addictive, self-medicating

— Annalisse Mayer (@AnnalisseMayer) August 26, 2024

pasting text of entire thread

I'm still thinking of this puppet in my head -- the one that I clothe with the identity of my favorite movie star, the one I call "Gemini Travesía" in my second book.  In some sense, I feel that my constantly manipulating this puppet is an addictive, self-medicatingbehavior.  That's part of what takes me to SLAA.

I haven't been willing to give him up, because I'm thinking of writing a co-quel to the second book, with a different version of the story -- tho, as usual, there are a number of competing versions and I'm not sure that I'm ready to choose one, or which one I would choose.

In my head, I was just sitting in a restaurant at a table with my puppet.  He was intrigued with me, wanting to learn more about me, smiling at me. 

When I think of giving him up, he is disappointed.  He wants to keep talking to me. 

Of course, that's not real.  I want to keep talking to him, in fact.  I want to keep self-medicating with this idea that this special person would actually want to spend time with me; when, in fact, when he goes out on dates, it's with much younger women.